Sarah Palin: I Don't Believe in Same-Sex Running Mates!

That fake headline comes from another hilarious post by humorist Mo Rocca—who also happens to be my favorite guest on Wait Wait ... Don’t Tell Me and the various VH1 countdown shows. He has a list of other possible headlines, which include the following:

• Sarah Palin: She’ll Melt Your Igloo!

• Sarah Palin: More experience than Geena Davis when she became Commander-in-Chief!

• Sarah Palin: An Evangelical Erin Brockovich!

• Sarah Palin: A Hockey Mom who will beat the crap out of Soccer Moms!

• Sarah Palin: If Tina Fey Played Bobbi McCaughey in a production of Annie Get Your Gun!

• Sarah Palin: Eight is Enough, My Ass!

• Sarah Palin: Who Let the Dog Sled Out?!

So as everyone knows by now, John McCain chose Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, to be his running mate for office. The pundits have already said most of what could be said about this decision: its transparently political attempt to appeal to women and youth, the inexperience of Palin, her super-right-wing views, etc. Maureen Dowd compared her nomination to the plot of a Lifetime chick flick, which “features a wild stroke of fate, when the two-year governor of an oversized igloo becomes commander in chief after the president-elect chokes on a pretzel on day one.” Laura Ingraham, by sharp ideological contrast, said that the “elite” media “are launching a blistering assault on this woman and her family,” as if the conservative elites, of which she is a member, haven’t been doing exactly the same to Obama. As always, David Brooks provides clear-minded analysis, offering praise where praise is due, but also acknowledging Palin’s weakness: viz., that like McCain, “she has a tendency to substitute a moral philosophy for a political philosophy.” And Bob Herbert recognizes that “Palin is the latest G.O.P. distraction,” and that the Democrats are much better off focusing on the real issues at stake in this election. In the end, of course, no one really says it better than Jon Stewart:



Samantha Bee’s satire is both funny and scarily true to life. In the comments to another Mo Rocca article (“McCain Locks Up the Caribou Vote!”), some crazy nut wrote the following:

WOMEN OF THIS NATION, WOMEN OF THE WORLD, THIS IS OUR TIME! THIS IS NOT ABOUT PRO-CHOICE, PRO- LIFE, RUPUBLICAN, OR DEMOCRAT; THIS IS ABOUT ELECTING INTELLIGENT WOMEN INTO OFFICE.

MC CAIN HAS PROVEN ONCE AGAIN TO BE AN INDEPENTENT THINKER JUST LIKE 50% OF HILLARY'S SUPPORTERS. HE IS NEVER ON LEFT OR RIGHT BUT IN THE MIDDLE. HE IS REALLY AN AGENT OF CHANGE!

MC CAIN/PALIN 2008! HILARY CLINTON 2012!

This is the kind of sentiment that scares the hell out of me. These people have no interest whatsoever in the actual issues at stake in the election; they just want to see a woman in leadership. I am as excited about seeing true gender and racial equality in American politics as the next person, but I want a person who is qualified to be in office and holds to views that I actually believe will benefit the American people and contribute to the common good. I can acknowledge Palin’s strengths, but as Gail Collins rightly says, “you’re no Hillary Clinton.” And anyone who is a card-carrying member of the NRA loses my vote. (My rant about the second amendment will come in a future post.)

The most recent news about Palin, of course, is the fact that her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant. The irony is thick. (Mo Rocca’s headline: “Jamie-Lynn Palin.”) The real icing on the cake came when James Dobson praised the Palin family for “living out their ‘pro-life and pro-family values’ even in trying circumstances.” He went on to say that there is “forgiveness and restoration when we confess our imperfections to the Lord.” I’ll go ahead and say it: Dobson is right. The problem is that Dobson’s statements are disingenuous and smarmy. There is no way that he would say the same things about a Democratic candidate’s children. We would hear instead about the immorality that characterizes liberalism. We would hear about how liberals are undermining the family and destroying American values. In short, the conservatives would create a smear campaign out of such an occurrence. Dobson’s praise of the Palin family is only the most recent and transparent example of a person using power and influence to get someone elected into office. It just feels icky all over, even if the actual statements themselves are correct.

At the end of the day, Sarah Palin doesn’t change anything for me. She’s a gutsy pick, but the wrong pick—not only wrong for America, but wrong for McCain. And it’s sad that so many people are blind to the fact that McCain and the Republican Party are just using her to get into office, knowing full well that with her five children and one grandchild and her lack of political experience, she’ll just be a Yes-woman to McCain. That’s why Biden is such an incredible contrast to Palin, because unlike Palin, Biden is more experienced than Obama and will be honest and direct with him. Biden is no Yes-man. He’ll make Obama a better president, which is precisely what Obama needs. It’s also what this country needs.